Addiction To Watching Movies, Youtube etc.

Question

I feel really lost and don’t know how to stop watching you tube, dramas etc..

It’s already like an addiction. Plus I teach madressah and feel an hypocrite…. I have all the spiritual sickness how am I supposed to help others…

I feel my heart getting darker day by day… Feel like am falling off in a black hole and can’t get up. I know I must stop but can’t. I don’t have any motivation…. Plus my namazs are like up and down touch the ground.. I hardly read quraan….

The way I became today I would have never dreamed of becoming such a person. These three are my biggest weakness and sins.

One of biggest guilt I made my husband also watch movies with me…. He Alhamduillah hardly watches…

I am getting sacred just now I do more fasad everywhere. And give evil dawat…

I don’t know who to turn to for help… 

Kindly advise… 

Answer

First of all, we admire that you realize how bad your condition is and want to rectify yourself. Thank Allah E for this realization and this is a proof that Allah E loves you. Allah F wants you to come back; that is why you have this feeling of remorse.

To come out of any sin one must, first of all, accept he is doing a sin. He must have the desire to come out of it. For example, the sin of watching movies, you tube, dramas etc. If someone does not accept he is doing a sin and does not have the desire to come out of it, for that person it will be very difficult to come out of it. To have motivation to leave a sin, is of utmost importance. Another important point for leaving a sin is that a person has to close all avenues that will take him to it. Like in your situation, we advise you to get rid of the television; and if you have a smart phone, change it to a simple phone without internet access. Close all the avenues that will take you to it. Therefore, if the urge comes again to watch movies etc…you will not be able to do so, because you don’t have access to these gadgets at that moment. We must observe who is the master and who is the slave; these gadgets must not be our master who will dictate to us, for example, when to go to sleep, when to eat etc. When the desire to watch movies come again, remember Allah B at that time: He is watching you. Ponder on the punishment of Jahannam. Ponder: if I die while sinning, what will happen to me. 

We have to understand this point very well: to come out of a sin one must control his Nafs by not doing the sin. Eventually the desire for it will get less. Sometimes it will get more stronger and if one continues to control it at that time, then a time will come when the desire to do this sin will get less and less. Thereafter the Nafs will be under control Insha Allah Taa’la. Not controlling the  Nafs  will  result in  it  becoming  more  stronger  and stronger. 

“You feeling like an hypocrite,” because Shaitaan is making you feeling like that; so that you don’t make Tawbah and return to Allah B. Shaitaan whispers to Insaan to sin and when he sins, then again Shaitaan whispers to him “you sin, you don’t feel ashamed of yourself to sin in front of Allah C and now you want to make Tawbah. At that time you must not listen to him and continue to make Tawbah. 

The heart will get darker day by day because our beloved Nabi H has said, “Indeed when a Mu’min sins a black dot settles on his heart. If he makes Tawbah, stops sinning, makes Istighfaar, his heart is polished again and if he returns to sinning, again a black dot settles on his heart” (Ibn maajah Hadeeth 4244). Nabi H himself gave the remedy, Abdullah ibn Umar I reports that Nabi said, “Indeed the hearts rust just as iron does. The Sahabah (radiyallahu’anhum) asked: “What is its polish?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam) replied: “Abundant remembrance of death and recitation of the Quran(Shu’abul Imaan, Hadith 1859). Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar I reports that Rasulullah G said, “Everything has a cleaner, and the cleaner of the hearts is the remembrance of Allah E… (Shu’abul Imaan, Hadith: 519). So try to make the Zikr of the first Kalimah (لا إله إلا لله) 50 times and take the name of Allah D  50 times in the morning and evening. Try your best not to miss it any day and after you’ve been punctual on it, then increase it by 10 times more. Repeat the same procedure till you become punctual on 100 times each Zikr. Keep to the amount of 100 and do not go beyond it. Start reading the Holy Quraan 10 minutes a day, thereafter increase the reading by 5 minutes after you’ve been punctual. Both the Zikr and the reading of Quraan must be done with full concentration. As far as Namaaz is concerned, read the virtues of Namaaz and the punishments for the one not performing Namaaz. For this we advise you to read Fazaail Aamaal of Mawlanah Zakariyah Khandelwi r. 

The reason for not having motivation to do good deeds is because of one’s sins. The heart becomes rusted because of this. Doing good deeds, reading of Quraan, making Zikr etc, will revive the heart once again then one will have desire to good deeds again. Remember well! The person who calls other people towards bad, he will get the same sin as the one practicing on this bad.  

Try to read books of our pious predecessors, their life etc, have Taaleem at home, keep good company, do good deeds and advise others also to do the same. Don’t worry! If a person has the real intention to change his life, surely without any doubt, Allah B will make it happen; but the condition is that he must play his part too by showing Allah B that he really wants to change his life i.e doing good deeds, being punctual on 5 times daily Salaah etc. It is very important to perform two Rakaats of Salaatul-Haajah every day then make Duaa begging Allah F to take you out of sin, protect you from sinning and to give you the motivation and the desire to good deeds. Make Duaa for the Ummah   at large and finally, have an spiritual guide (A Sheikh) who will guide you. You should tell him about your condition, so that he can advise you accordingly and there is great benefit in it (to have Sheikh).

Now it depends on you to make this little effort, to control the Nafs and to practice on the above advices. Remember that Allah E gave Insaan the ability to control the Nafs. It will be unacceptable in the court of Allah F to just say “I can’t stop myself from watching movies etc…” Because to watch movies, there is an effort behind it, you have to buy a television, walk toward it, switch it on etc. Whereas, if you don’t watch movies, no effort is required. If one has the ability to do bad, that shows that he has the ability to good also. The Nafs will be under control by reading Quraan, making Zikr and doing good deeds. Motivation to do good or to stop from sinning, will be created by practicing on the abovementioned prescription Insha Allah Ta’ala. We make dua to Allah B to help and protect all of us from sinning and may Allah B keep us with complete Imaan, grant us death on perfect Imaan and resurrect us with total Imaan. Ameen.   

References

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: ” إِنَّ الْمُؤْمِنَ إِذَا أَذْنَبَ كَانَتْ ‌نُكْتَةٌ سَوْدَاءُ فِي قَلْبِهِ، فَإِنْ تَابَ وَنَزَعَ وَاسْتَغْفَرَ، صُقِلَ قَلْبُهُ، فَإِنْ زَادَ، زَادَتْ، فَذَلِكَ الرَّانُ الَّذِي ذَكَرَهُ اللَّهُ فِي كِتَابِهِ: {كَلَّا بَلْ رَانَ عَلَى قُلُوبِهِمْ مَا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُونَ} [المطففين: ١٤] “)ابن ماجه/ص1418/ج2/رقم4244)

عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: ” إِنَّ هَذِهِ الْقُلُوبَ تَصْدَأُ، كَمَا يَصْدَأُ الْحَدِيدُ إِذَا أَصَابَهُ الْمَاءُ ” قِيلَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، وَمَا جِلَاؤُهَا؟ قَالَ: ” كَثْرَةُ ذِكْرِ الْمَوْتِ وَتِلَاوَةُ الْقُرْآنِ “(شعب الإيمان/ص392/ج3/رقم1859)

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ: ” إِنَّ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ سِقَالَةً، وَإِنَّ سِقَالَةَ الْقُلُوبِ ذِكْرُ اللهِ(شعب الإيمان/ص62/ج2/رقم519)

عن أبي هريرة، أن رسولَ الله-صلى الله عليه وسلم – قال: “مَنْ دعا إلى هدىً، كان له من الأجر مثلُ أجورِ مَنْ تَبِعَه ‌لا ‌يَنقُصُ ذلك من أجورِهم شيئاً، ومن دَعا إلى ضلالة كان عليه من الإثم مثلُ آثام من تَبِعَه لا ذلك مِن آثامهم شيئاً”(سنن ابو داود/ص19/ج7/رقم4609)

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