Anger Management

Question

Please give me a few amals that I could do and read to calm me, tolerance and patience  and for anger please. 

Answer

From the nature of your query we understand that you are having difficulty controlling your anger. You get upset or frustrated easily and perhaps vent your frustration and anger in a manner that leaves you with regret at a later stage.

 

A Hadith states, “Anger is from Shaytaan, and Shaytaan has been created from fire. A person should therefore drink water when angry, as water extinguishes fire.” 

 

Secondly, move away from the person that has angered you. If the person doesn’t move away, then you should move away. Think that even though this person has wronged me, usurped my rights or disobeyed me, we disobey Allah d day and night to a far greater extent and we are so much more negligent in fulfilling our duties towards him. Despite our attitude and behaviour, Allah d doesn’t snatch away his bounties from us. Just as we desire that Allah d forgives our sins, we too should forgive the servants of Allah d, and be good to them to the extent that we desire to be forgiven on the day of Qiyaamah. By contemplating over the above, the condition of the heart will begin to ease Insha’Allah.

 

Also, when becoming angry for the purpose of reforming your child, you should only punish according to the limits permitted in Shariah. An appropriate punishment should be chosen after careful consideration when one has calmed down.    

 

Hadrat Sheikh-ul-Hadith Maulana Zakariyya r rebuked one of his servants. The servant requested Hadrat to forgive him. Hadrat said, “You are always troubling me, for how long should I bear this attitude of yours?” Hadrat Maulana Ilyaas Saheb r was sitting close by who whispered in Hadrat Sheikh’s ear, “Maulana, Forgive Allah’s servants to the extent that you want Allah d to forgive you.”

 

Our Mashaaikh have written, when anger completely overcomes one, then think, “If I control my anger right now, then Allah d will hold back his punishment from me on the day of Qiyaamah.” This glad tiding is mentioned in the narration of Hadrat Anas I.

 

The following has been prescribed by Hadrat Maulana Abrar-ul-Haq Saheb r,

 

The Cure For Anger 

Read the following guidelines over and over again daily so that at the time of anger, they are remembered. When overtaken by anger;

1. Recite اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم

2. Perform Wudhu.

3. If you are standing, then sit down. If you are sitting, then lie down.

4. Either send the person with whom you are angry to another place or leave that place.

5. Sit in the company of some pious person.

6. Engage yourself in the Dhikr of Allâh d. Recite Durûd Sharîf.

7. Do not speak as far as possible, nor engage in any dealings with the person with whom you are angry.

8. Reflect over the fact that anger destroys Imân just as aloe destroys honey.

Consider the fact that I also err and disobey Allâh d.  If I am punished due to my errors, then it will be very difficult for me to attain salvation. If I forgive, then there is hope that my sins will be forgiven. Therefore, to forgive this person on whom my anger is directed is much better. 

10. If you do not follow the above guidelines when angry, then fix an amount which should be given in charity. Also, perform 4 Rakaats Nafl Salaah.

Recitation of the name ‘Ya Haleemu’ is beneficial for creating tolerance within a person Insha’Allah. 

Checked and Approved By:

Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.

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