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Rulings Of Iddah And Women Visiting Graveyards

Question

How soon after the husband passes away should the wife be in the home ,starting her iddat?

Recently due to husband passing away in a hospital,the wife goes to ghusl khansa/ kabrastaan to sit n read etc until burial time?

Answer

وَٱلَّذِينَ ‌يُتَوَفَّوۡنَ مِنكُمۡ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزۡوَٰجا يَتَرَبَّصۡنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرۡبَعَةَ أَشۡهُر وَعَشۡرا فَإِذَا بَلَغۡنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ فِيمَا فَعَلۡنَ فِيٓ أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۗ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ خَبِير

And those of you who die and leave wives behind, they (the wives) shall wait (with regard to their marriage) for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no sin on you with regard to what they (the widows) do with themselves (by getting married again) in a just and honourable manner (i.e. they can marry). And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do. [Surah Baqarah/verse: 234]

In principle, the Iddah of a deceased’s wife is 4 months and 10 days, if she is not pregnant. If her husband passes away on the 1st of any month of the lunar calendar, the Iddah will be exactly 4 months and 10 days regardless of whether the months consist of 29 or 30 days. However, if her husband passes away on any date besides the 1st of the month, the Iddah will be for 130 days considering each month to be 30 days. (Ahsanul Fataawa Vol. 5 Pg. 449)

Iddat begins from the time of the husband’s death even if the woman is not aware of his death and even though she had made no intention to observe Iddat. She will still be obliged to calculate her Iddat period from the day he died, not from the day she learnt of his death.

It is incumbent upon a woman under Iddah to observe it in the house where she was residing at the time of the death of her husband or the dissolution of the marriage.

Hereunder are some rulings to keep in mind with regards to Iddah:

(Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has said that it is not permissible for a believer to mourn for anyone for more than three days, except the widow whose period of mourning (when not pregnant) on the death of her husband is four months and ten days.

a. It is necessary (Waajib) upon every adult sane Muslim woman to observe Iddah (mourn the death of her husband). It is not necessary upon a woman who is a disbeliever, insane or did not attain puberty.

b. It is Haraam (strictly prohibited) to make an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman observing the Iddah of Death. It is also Haraam to contract a Nikah with such a woman. Such a nikah will be null and void.

c. It is Haraam upon a female observing Iddathto apply perfume; to don ornaments, jewellery or decorations of any sort; to wear eye makeup, such as Kohl (antimony) or galena; to chew or apply colour on the lips, teeth or gums; to apply oil on the head; to comb the hair (in order to beautify herself); to use henna; to wear silken or other gaudy dresses.

 d. It is permissible to bath and wash the hair during Iddat.

 e. It is not required that she confines herself to a certain room or that she remains silent during the Iddah. She should preferably occupy herself with Ibaadah or any virtuous act. She may carry out any house work. She must not indulge in any sinful activity or pastime.

Observing Iddah and the laws of Iddah is compulsory and an act of great virtue. A woman in Iddah is in the mercy of Allah. Her Du’aas are accepted. She should use the time to make Ibadah and also make Isaale Thawaab for her husband. She should perform Nafl Salah, recite Qur’an and give charity. She should also make Istighfaar for him. See the following narrations:

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا: أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: إِنَّ أُمِّي افْتُلِتَتْ نَفْسُهَا، وَأَظُنُّهَا لَوْ تَكَلَّمَتْ تَصَدَّقَتْ، فَهَلْ لَهَا أَجْرٌ إِنْ تَصَدَّقْتُ عَنْهَا؟ قَالَ: نَعَمْ صحيح البخارى 

‘Aisha (Radhiyallahu ‘Anha) narrates that a man said to the Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam), my mother died suddenly and I thought that if she had lived, she would have given alms. So, if I give alms now on her behalf, will she get the reward?’ The Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) replied, ‘Yes’. (Bukhari)

(إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ: إِلَّا مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ (صحيح مسلم

When a man dies his acts come to an end but three, recurring charity, knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious child who prays for him (for the deceased).” (Muslim)

As for your second query, women are not allowed to visit graveyards. The reason for prohibiting females is due to our corrupted environment wherein women do not adhere to the laws of Hijaab and hence strange men are attracted towards them. Therefore, it is not permissible for women to visit the graveyard.

Moreover, In general, women are soft hearted and they tend to cry and lament over the graves, especially if the inmates are their loved ones. It is for this reason that the Shariah prohibits them from visiting the graves.

The prohibition applicable to women is also applicable to those men that are similar to women in their behaviour at the graveyard. [Fataawa Mahmoodiyyah Pg.327-328/Vol.13]

Young women are not permitted to visit the graveyard under any circumstance, there is a strong possibility that their visiting the graveyard leads to other vices; and it is incorrect to commit a haram act to fulfil a desirable act. Therefore, women should not visit the graveyard at all, whether young or old.

Also, the Quraan Sharif categorically prohibits women from leaving their homes unless there is a genuine necessity for them to do so. There is no need to visit the graveyard as Esaale-Thawaab can be carried out from anywhere.

We at the Darul Ifta strongly discourage the presence of women at our graveyards at any given time and point.

Checked and Approved By:

Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.

References

أن امرأة مات زوجها فجاءت إلى رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – تستأذنه في الانتقال، فقال رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – «إن إحداكن كانت تمكث في شر أحلاسها إلى الحول ثم تخرج فتلقي البعرة أفلا أربعة أشهر وعشرا» فدل الحديث أن عدتهن من قبل نزول هذه الآية كانت حولا وأنهن كن في شر أحلاسهن مدة الحول ثم انتسخ ما زاد على هذه المدة وبقي الحكم فيما بقي على ما كان قبل النسخ، وهو أن تمكث المعتدة هذه المدة في شر أحلاسها، وهذا تفسير الحداد. وأما الإجماع فإنه روي عن جماعة من الصحابة – رضي الله عنهم – منهم عبد الله بن عمر وعائشة وأم سلمة وغيرهم – رضي الله عنهم – مثل قولنا وهو قول السلف.(بدائع الصنائع(Pg:209/Vol:3

أما الأول فالإحداد في اللغة عبارة عن الامتناع من الزينة، يقال: أحدت على زوجها وحدت أي امتنعت من الزينة وهو أن تجتنب الطيب ولبس المطيب والمعصفر والمزعفر، وتجتنب الدهن والكحل ولا تختضب ولا تمتشط ولا تلبس حليا ولا تتشوف. أما الطيب فلما روت أم سلمة – رضي الله عنها – أن النبي – صلى الله عليه وسلم – نهى المعتدة أن تختضب بالحناء.

وقال – صلى الله عليه وسلم -: ” الحناء طيب ” فيدل على وجوب اجتناب الطيب، ولأن الطيب فوق الحناء فالنهي عن الحناء يكون نهيا عن الطيب دلالة، كالنهي عن التأفيف نهي عن الضرب والقتل دلالة، وكذا لبس الثوب المطيب والمصبوغ بالعصفر والزعفران له رائحة طيبة فكان كالطيب وأما الدهن فلما فيه من زينة الشعر، وفي الكحل زينة العين ولهذا حرم على المحرم جميع ذلك وهذا في حال الاختيار، فأما في حال الضرورة فلا بأس به بأن اشتكت عينها فلا بأس بأن تكتحل أو اشتكت رأسها فلا بأس أن تصب فيه الدهن أو لم يكن لها إلا ثوب مصبوغ فلا بأس أن تلبسه لكن لا تقصد به الزينة؛ لأن مواضع الضرورة مستثناة.) بدائع الصنائع(Pg:209/Vol:3

وفي السراج وأما النساء إذا أردن زيارة القبور إن كان ذلك لتجديد الحزن والبكاء والندب كما جرت به عادتهن فلا تجوز لهن الزيارة وعليه يحمل الحديث الصحيح لعن الله زائرات القبور وإن كان للاعتبار والترحم والتبرك بزيارة قبور الصالحين من غير ما يخالف الشرع فلا بأس به إذا كن عجائز وكره ذلك للشابات كحضورهن في المساجد للجماعات اهـ وحاصله أن محل الرخص لهن إذا كانت الزيارة على وجه ليس فيه فتنة والأصح أن الرخصة ثابتة للرجال والنساء لأن السيدة فاطمة رضي الله تعالى عنها كانت تزور قبر حمزة كل جمعة وكانت عائشة رضي الله تعالى عنها تزور قبر أخيها عبد الرحمن بمكة كذا ذكره البدر العيني في شرح البخاري (الطحطاوي على مراقي الفلاح ج-٢ ص-٢٧٤، دار قباء)

(قوله: ولو للنساء) وقيل: تحرم عليهن. والأصح أن الرخصة ثابتة لهن بحر، وجزم في شرح المنية بالكراهة لما مر في اتباعهن الجنازة. وقال الخير الرملي: إن كان ذلك لتجديد الحزن والبكاء والندب على ما جرت به عادتهن فلا تجوز، وعليه حمل حديث «لعن الله زائرات القبور» وإن كان للاعتبار والترحم من غير بكاء والتبرك بزيارة قبور الصالحين فلا بأس إذا كن عجائز. ويكره إذا كن شواب كحضور الجماعة في المساجد اهـ وهو توفيق حسن (الشامي ج-٢ ص-٢٤٢، سعيد)

وحاصل الكلام من هذا كله أن ‌زيارة ‌القبور ‌مكروهة للنساء، بل حرام في هذا الزمان، ولا سيما نساء مصر لأن خروجهن على وجه فيه الفساد والفتنة…(عمدة القاري شرح صحيح البخاري Pg:70/Vol:8

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